The bar chart illustrates the quantity of different resources consumed to make 1,000 polystyrene and paper cups.

To produce 1,000 polystyrene cups needs 8 kg of petroleum and 13 kg of other chemicals. These two elements are heated with 130 kg steam, which is ten times as much as other chemicals. This process is considerably energy-efficient, only costing 0.6 m3 of water, 6 kilowatts of electricity, 8 kilograms of petroleum, and no wood is needed in this process.

However, in term of the process of making 1,000 paper cups, it is a different story. The amount of consumed water and electricity is more than ten times than that in the process of making polystyrene (10m3 and 78 kilowatts respectively). It also requires more petroleum, more than twice as polystyrene cups do. Besides, it is worth mentioning that the production of paper cups doesn’t need much steam, which is almost 1% in comparision with that of Plystyrene cups. The amount of other chemicals is less than two thirds of that in polystyrene cups as well.

Overall, the production of polystyrene cups is more environmentally friendly, because it costs less energy and doesn’t need any wood, while 1,000 paper cups almost needs 220 kg of wood.

The bar chart compares the amounts of various resources required to manufacture 1,000 polystyrene cups and 1,000 paper cups.

Overall, the production of paper cups consumes substantially larger quantities of most resources than that of polystyrene cups, particularly water, electricity and wood, whereas polystyrene cup production relies more heavily on steam and chemical inputs.

To produce 1,000 polystyrene cups, 8 kilograms of petroleum and 13 kilograms of other chemicals are needed. In addition, this process requires a significant amount of steam, at 130 kilograms, which is by far the largest input. By contrast, relatively small quantities of water and electricity are consumed, at just 0.6 cubic metres and 6 kilowatt-hours respectively, and no wood is used at all.

In comparison, the manufacture of 1,000 paper cups requires considerably more water and electricity, at 10 cubic metres and 78 kilowatt-hours, both of which are more than ten times the figures for polystyrene cups. Petroleum consumption is also higher, at over twice the amount used in polystyrene cup production. However, paper cup manufacturing uses far less steam, at only 1 kilogram, and requires fewer other chemicals. Notably, this process also involves a substantial amount of wood, totalling approximately 220 kilograms.

❌ Hạn chế

• Nhận xét mang tính đánh giá cá nhân:
  “more environmentally friendly”
  → ❌ Task 1 không được kết luận môi trường / tốt – xấu, chỉ mô tả số liệu.
  Một số so sánh chưa đủ chính xác về học thuật (ví dụ: “1%”).

• Lỗi từ vựng
  in term of → ❌ in terms of
  energy-efficient ❌ dùng sai ngữ cảnh (không đo hiệu suất)
  Plystyrene → ❌ Polystyrene
  in comparision → ❌ in comparison

• Lỗi ngữ pháp đáng chú ý
  ❌ needs 8 kg of petroleum → needed / requires
  ❌ more than twice as polystyrene cups do → more than twice as much as
  ❌ almost needs 220 kg of wood→ requires nearly

✅

✔ Task Achievement
Mô tả khách quan, không đánh giá “thân thiện môi trường”
Có overview rõ ràng, nêu xu hướng chính
So sánh đầy đủ và chính xác

✔ Lexical Resource
Từ vựng học thuật:
consumes substantially larger quantities, relies more heavily on by far the largest input, considerably more
So sánh chuẩn IELTS: more than ten times, over twice the amount

✔ Grammar
Câu phức chính xác, đa dạng
Không còn lỗi thì, giới từ, so sánh

✔ Coherence & Cohesion
Bố cục mạch lạc:
Introduction
Overview
Body 1 (Polystyrene)|
Body 2 (Paper)